Being a newbie Chunsa sometimes would leave me a big regret of why I hadn’t known Yoochun since his debut or earlier days. I’m envious of many Chunsas who have shared many memories with him all these time and through ups and downs. Thinking about it, maybe during those times I was playing in the rice fields to catch tadpoles and crabs, or was running in green fields, or crying ugly when teacher told me to speak infront of the class. Ahh, I was just an elementary student and I didn’t know about the Kpop world so there was no way I could have discovered him. Yoochun’s existence was off my radar until 10 years later after his debut.
During my freshman days at university, a friend of mine had a habit of watching K-variety shows and would roll on the floor laughing for real. She did that especially at midnight during our overnight studies. I thought she was so odd so I ignored her, but she was brilliant to make us not sleepy during our studying times. LOL! Her habit eventually got me to become a K-drama addict. I didn’t care if it was holiday or not. I came to like watching K-dramas so much, reading K-drama recaps, visiting many K-drama sites, searching for recommended K-drama lists until I finally found out about I Miss You.
I believe the first time Yoochun’s name appeared on my radar was when I saw a news about I Miss You. The news was about a wrap-up party and the drama’s poster was used as a headline. I didn’t like heavy and melo drama so I just stared at the poster. A man with spikey black hair caught my eyes, my eyebrows went up while thinking ‘why did they cast a not so handsome ahjussi?’ and dropped the drama news immediately, without even looking up his name.
“It’s always interesting to read about how chunsas ignored Yuchun initially and find him unattractive before they fall big for him.” – Pink Sapphire
LOL I laughed when I read that because it was exactly what happened to me. I didn’t fall for Yoochun at first sight. Maybe I was even worse because I thought he was ugly and I ignored him. Fortunately, I wasn’t interested enough to know what this male lead’s name was. Had I known his name, chances are I would have ignored anything that had his name on it and blocked any information related to him and this story would not exist haha.
As time went by, I spotted the name Yoochun a lot on my favorite K-drama recapper’s blog. At that time, I had no idea that she was a Chunsa. I was curious who was this Yoochun that she always mentioned. So I googled Yoochun. But Yoochun’s photo profile on Wiki looked so-so. It was rare because other Korean actors I had Googled always wowed me, but well, I had no expectation anyway. Luckily, I kept reading his profile.. till I read the bottom of the page which was about his awards list.
WOW. My eyes were sparkling. It felt like I had a flash of crush with a college senior who got first place at university with good GPA and have many achievements, lol. What amazed me more was the fact that he was the so not handsome lead actor ahjussi in I Miss You drama I had skipped!
But, that’s all. I didn’t continue to Google him because of his so-so profile photo, plus I had many K-dramas on my list and more than one hundred and fifty episodes of Running Man to watch. I was also busy with univ’s assignments and social activities so I barely managed to watch everything on my list. So I usually just visited a K-drama recap blog instead. It was the same blog as before, which I was a regular visitor of. I saw a lot of mention of Yoochun’s name there. It must be something about him that made her fall for him so badly and wrote about Yoochun so much. I clicked on a news about his return to Tokyo Dome after 10 years. But hey, a news about a K-pop artist concert in a K-drama blog? I Googled him once more, this time I read quite a lot, I Youtubed him, and then back to the K-drama recap blog to read the whole I Miss You recap in one night. That’s how my Chunsa story began.
Since that day, I wanted to Google him more and I was expectant of his newest drama. But that was 2013, I was sad there was no news about a project after IMY. All I remember were updates on LINE, his trip to France with JYJ members, JYJ membership week and he went to a friend’s wedding which surprised me as that was my first time seeing him in real time. That was practically the first time I ‘met’ him. He’s not as skinny as I thought. I saw some Chunsas trolled him too, related him to a nobita lol.
I hadn’t been able to watch his dramas after reading IMY’s recap. Haha I don’t know how but my research about him already caught me so I started to ask every fangirl in my class in case they collected his previous dramas. I didn’t know about the power of ‘download’ yet. Silly me! I thought I would do anything to get my hands on his dramas and so would search every DVD shop I knew to find them. I had no idea how popular Yoochun was. Cries. Oh of course my friends had them! I hit jackpot when I was given his dramas, MVs, Music Shows, Variety Shows, Reality Shows, Fanmeetings, and Concert Tours by my multi-biased friends.
My fangirling days had come! Yoochun started to fill my days. I was totally excited to marathoning Yoochun’s dramas in the order starting with SKKS, MR, RTP, IMY and some of his singer days. I had no idea that this man was a part of a legendary singer group. He gave me a feeling like he was an older brother next door. And he had such a soothing, gentle, deep and manly voice. My heart was struck when I watched a very broad shouldered man with an anime face-like in Rooftop Prince.
I was going crazy at the way Leegak treated Park Ha, hugged her, teased her, kissed her, like kyakyakyaaa isn’t he too sweet and unreal? And I love the wedding scene so much it was so heartbreaking yet the most beautiful and my favorite scene in K-drama world. But his chunface won me over all those stuff. This boy didn’t stop to surprise me with his charm.
The “not so handsome ajhussi” was no more!
Early 2014, I officially proclaimed myself as a Chunsa by joining a heartwarming fan project to write a letter for Yoochun! I joined Twitter, ‘met’ chunsas, and this was how I got into him deeper and deeper. I was going crazier over him each day, I went to sleep searching his updates and woke up to the same. I sneaked out during classes to Google on Yoochun’s updates and hit walls when I walk.
Besides his appearance, I also fell for his sexy brain. Omg I feel shy. My heart melted reading every answer on his interviews. He was humble and witty at the same time. He really looks cool, smart, and full of charisma when talking. I even haven’t mentioned about how well mannered he is in front or behind the camera.
But what hit me the most was when during 3 days, I discovered a lot of accounts both old and new accounts, about how hard working Yoochun was and how great his personality is. He acted in 2 projects at the same time. He flew back and forth, had a bad injury but still performed his best. Then I accidentally saw a video of a crying Yoochun when he performed Proud with 5 members. A singer cried? On stage? I couldn’t describe my feeling especially after knowing about JYJ. Their spirit and hard work despite those circumstances gave this girl, who lived thousands of miles away, strength and hope to face her world.
I remember the time I almost lost my dad. Well, I believe every person in this world must have gone through the worst stage in their life. I think that was my time. My dad was in a coma, lost all his memory, and had a little chance to wake up. This accident took me into a deep shock. I thought it was the worst after several hardships I was facing before, but those were actually just an introduction. Later our home got robbed, followed by my dad going to his second and third critical state, some people steal our belongings at home for the second time, and other things I can’t mention here.
I was terribly sad. I immediately took some part time jobs while taking care my 3 younger brothers and home, when mom and dad lived in the hospital for months. As an eldest daughter, it was my responsibility to take care of my family. I must be a role model for my little brothers but I was not that strong, I also felt burdened. I missed the library, group discussions, watching movies, playing with friends. I was angry I couldn’t do my activities like before. I was angry with myself that it took a long time for everything to become better, even my younger brother had to take a break from school. He chose to work and support our family too.
For some time I secluded myself from the world. Whenever I sleep, I wanted to sleep for so long. I didn’t want to wake up and face those hard days. But knowing Yoochun, the hardship he and JYJ went through gave me great strength and hope. Somehow I knew happiness will come again.
Like Oongirl said, Yoochun is like a virtual friend for me. I feel so grateful. I smile and laugh more after I knew Yoochun, like the me I used to be. He makes my happy days happier, he changes my gloomy days to brighter days. He draws a smile on my face when I’m about to cry. He is a light when I’m lost in the dark. He is my inspiration, motivation and source of happiness. He encouraged me to face the world once again after it was all messed up. And it’s also him that made me meet lovely and kindhearted Chunsas out there.
I feel thankful to have met Chunsas, they always share happy and positive energy for me. When I went through those difficult moments in my life, they also took care of me and encouraged me. Omo, I might end up writing too much and list everything I like about him or things I am grateful for knowing him. However, other Chunsas could explain it better right, haha.
Now, dad is gradually getting better, my brother stopped working and entered university again as he had always dreamed of, and I unexpectedly received an achievement for the highest grade in my faculty for 3 consecutive semesters. (If I could just tell Yoochun it’s because of him, like he was my biological oppa haha! No no. It’s embarrassing.) Now I believe everything will get better. I’m not the only one struggling, everyone has their own struggles. There are still hardships but these too shall pass. ^^
It was a wonderful and happy journey knowing him. Even though I have no chance to meet him in real life yet and I’ve also spent only a short time in cyber life, I’m still very grateful. It might be short, but the impact it gave me, his impact on me is for life. He is just like a gift sent from the skies. A gift containing many blessings. And I feel blessed to be one of them who received this blessing.
P.S. Thank you so much for reading this story. It took quite a lot of time to write it, I started even before Yoochun went to enlist lol. I’m so happy to finally finish it at last. Big thanks to everyone who invited, inspired, encouraged, and helped me to share my story here, especially Xhen, Alyne, and Jellybean herself xixi. Thanks and hugs to every lovely Chunsa. Without Chunsas, I wouldn’t be a Chunsa. This is special to me so I wrote such along thanks speech.:D It’s my first time writing such a long english essay although my English skill is still very limited. Let’s wait for him to return in this beautiful way. Keep sharing ^^
(Photo Cr. As Tagged)