I didn’t know if I’d ever write anything like this again, to be honest. The past few months I’ve reverted further and further back to my typical shy behavior and have been keeping my thoughts mostly to myself. However, I find myself with something I want to say today…
Perhaps it’s because I started losing people I love at an early age, but even though I’m not usually confident about expressing my feelings, one thing I do say a lot is “I love you!”. If you’re someone I care about, chances are I may even make you awkward with how often I say those three words. You may wonder, “If she says that so easily, does she really mean it?”. The answer is, “Yes… I do!”
You see… I don’t take it for granted that when my parents walk out the door to go to work or the store that I’ll see them again. I don’t take it for granted that just because I spoke to my friend today, I’ll have another chance tomorrow. I don’t look down the road of life and think I’ll always have the ones by my side that I would walk with forever if I could. Life has taught me differently.
Time is precious, and love, even more so than time. In an instant your entire world can crumble because of one missing piece… A person you love. You can start again, hope again, love again… but for as long as you live, that one part of your heart will cry silent tears that never quite dry.
Why am I saying all of that? It’s because, although our love may take different forms or have different origins, as Chunsas, we all share a love for one very special person. A man who, in an instant, we suddenly wondered if we’d lost, if we’d see smile again, laugh again, hear his beautiful voice again, and feel, just once more, the warmth and light that are uniquely his. We watched him suffer as no innocent person ever should. We watched him fight for truth, for justice, and to get back up again after being dealt a blow not many would have the strength to withstand. We fought with him as best we could. With aching hearts, and minds trying to come to terms with a reality that no longer made sense, we cried out in faith, asking God to heal his wounds with His love.
And now? We stand waiting for that same man to come back to us after witnessing him fight his battles with grace, dignity, humility, and unimaginable courage; and we stand, having been given another chance to do what matters most… show him what he means to us. We may be tired or discouraged, but we are still here because, even without knowing what tomorrow will bring, we have (in the words of a favorite poem) “an ever fixed mark” in our hearts that “looks on tempests and is never shaken.”.
None of us are guaranteed our next breath. There is no time to waste one heartbeat. There is only time for love… For love that makes sure those we love know they are loved; not for anything they can do for us, but for what they are to us… A soul that could never be replaced by any other…. Loved with a love that says, “Your tears are our tears. Your joy is our joy. No matter what you need or where your life takes you, our love is always with you without question or conditions!”
So, whether it is through a project of support, a letter like this, or a simple prayer, I just want to be one small voice saying again, “Saranghaeyo, Yuchun ssi! You have been so greatly missed and, by the heart of a Chunsa, you will always be greatly loved!”
Written by: Seryn