On June 12th of last year, I was reminiscing and sharing with you how Pages Bound by 6002 started in 2015. Never would we have imagined that on the very next day, nothing will ever be the same again in Chunsaland; that we were heading off to the roughest road and darkest of tunnels in Chunsaland’s history.
We will never forget this dark period in our fandom, but more importantly, we should not forget that there was a silver lining; the way we stood together by him and stood up for him, protecting, giving strength; keeping faith to the end. We showed Yuchun we are not only here to cheer for him, to scream his name and to spazz over him; we’re not only here to buy albums and DVDs and other fan goods, or to watch concerts and fan meetings. We are here during the ups, and we are here during the downs. We were by his side at his lowest. It’s because our love is constant. It is unconditional.
I am quite in awe with the realization – once again – of how very strong Yuchun is. The horrible nightmare he experienced, the pain he must have carried in his heart in this past year could easily kill a man. We don’t know how many times he must have been on the point of collapse and yet he fought against it, he didn’t break down, he didn’t give in to the human go-to for escaping severe pain: self-destruction. He chose to keep himself whole, intact, standing undefeated
. More than being proud of him, I am grateful. I am grateful to God for giving him strength and for making it possible to heal. I thank Yuchun for keeping it together to the end.
During the past two years that Pages have witnessed in this fandom, the ups and downs have been tremendous and extreme. The joys that moved our hearts; that made us lighthearted enough to float; the pain we carried which may have left scars in some of us, the wishful thoughts that some realities were nothing but dreams, and that some dreams could turn into realities, the resolve in our spirit for love to win, these are all chronicled in the pages of this blog. Bared souls. Unrestrained hearts. Resolute wills.
In the last six months, I have been asked a couple of times, on different occasions, if I’m going to continue Pages Bound By 6002. The first time was when my mum passed away early this year. I said, “Yes, I’m going to continue running this blog.” It was difficult, but I had a commitment to you, I had to finish volume 2 and send it to Yuchun. It may have been strenuous mentally and physically, but it was keeping my mind occupied, it was a distraction that kept me from wallowing in sadness. At the time, I thought those were my reasons. The second time was when rumors came out that Yuchun would not be coming back. My answer took some time to form, even though I have asked myself the same question several times. What should I do if and when he retires? If indeed he decides to retire, should I still go on and continue with this blog in the hopes that he would come back someday? Or should I close this chapter in my life, disentrap myself; move on but not forget, for how do you forget someone connected to your heart in some mysterious way? In the end, my answer remains, “NO, I’m not closing down the blog.”
Some Chunsas are still being born, in spite of everything. Instead of counting and getting upset over those who have left, let us look forward to meeting the ones who are just discovering Park Yuchun. To you, baby Chunsas, welcome to the family, welcome to Chunsaland. Pages are waiting to be filled with your stories.
I would like to thank you all who have shared your genuine hearts; thank you for sharing your stories and thoughts. Thank you for baring your feelings, for showing who Park Yuchun is through your eyes. Thank you, Chunsa.
To all who leaf through the pages of this blog, thank you. I was told reading the stories give them strength, a sense of belonging, a feeling of being a member a family, a feeling of being home. In the words of a friend…
“Pages is filled with the souls of our family… our hurts, hopes, determination and love. To encourage Yoochun, of course, but it also helps us to see ourselves in our sisters. As the title suggests, our bond is displayed and therefore strengthened through the sharing. Insecurities dissolve as it becomes apparent we are not “the only one” – we are assured of our connections. Our hope is fed and our faith increased with each entry.”
To friends who have helped me in the past two years, my heart is filled with gratitude for you. I am very thankful for your friendship. Jeongmal gomabseubnida. Meeting you through Yuchun and through this blog has been a blessing to me. I may not be the kind who is showy with affection, but I am always on the side looking at you and listening to you affectionately. Whatever the future brings, I hope the bond between us that was forged through Park Yuchun will be lasting; I hope that I could hold on and continue the journey with you.
Somewhere along the way I had a mental block. I struggled with it for weeks, until yesterday. Yesterday morning I woke up to two direct messages sharing a tweet (Jojo’s) with your photo, a stolen shot as a matter of fact; you in your all-too-familiar snap-back, wearing a mustard yellow shirt, wearing a hint of that beloved and awfully missed smile, showing us that you are happy. That simple shot, although stolen but taken without ill intentions, made your fans happy. See how easy it is to make them so? Just a hint of your smile. I know you know that, uri Yuchun-ie. I know you will understand where your fans are coming from. 😉
Thank you for these two years. May God bless us in the coming years.