I’ve told parts of this story several times in the past five years I’ve been a Chunsa, but never the whole thing as I was afraid it would get boring. But this is a place to talk specifically for this journey, so I will let it all out and hopefully you won’t be yawning by the end of it.
I got a friend into kdramas while we were on a trip to Andalusia in 2009, as a means to have fun right before falling asleep in our nice hotel room. She became obsessed and eventually got into kpop. For months she’d been trying to get me into kpop as well, but I stubbornly resisted. She would constantly talk about a certain person she called Micky and a DBSK group and I remember seeing this name everywhere and being annoyed. You see, I was looking for fanfics of dramas (I’m a huge fanfic fan) and I couldn’t find any, because it looked like everyone cared for this group only. My friend convinced me to watch SKK scandal because her beloved “Micky” was in it and I “just had to watch for him” and after I read the premise, I thought, why not give this a chance… I like this kind of premise anyway. I had seen her “Micky’s” face before and didn’t think much of it. In fact I wondered why she got so much into him and started questioning her taste. I was so wrong…
It only took a few scenes to change my mind – and my life – completely. I didn’t know what it was about this guy… I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was glowing. He had an amazingly confident aura. I was… what’s a good verb… enthralled. Everything he did was interesting to me, every twinkle of the eyes, every little smirk, every hint of tear, every smile… I couldn’t get enough. I could feel my heartbeat accelerating with his every scene. In between waiting for episodes, I hesitantly asked my friend to tell me more about him, so that’s when she saw the green light and sent me gifs, pictures, videos, fanfics, all kinds of info. I remember the shock after watching Mirotic for the first time, especially the live version, as I couldn’t believe there was actually a group who could dance and sing so well at the same time. I remember her telling me that while she thought Jaejoong was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in the kpop scene, it was Yoochun she adored. I nodded in agreement because I felt the same way. It was too late. I was in love.
For the next couple of years, I watched everything there was to watch about him. Miss Ripley and Rooftop Prince came out and I watched them with my sisters, whom also expressed a certain bias towards Yoochun, after being forced to watch endless videos of DBSK and JYJ with me. When my sister’s boyfriend, who had never managed to recognise a single Asian face before, pointed at him while we were watching Rooftop Prince and said “That’s Micky!” I realised that there was just something about this guy that made him unforgettable. It wasn’t just me.
Though my love began because of his acting and then eventually his singing and stage presence (I will of course add his appearance because I find him hot, sexy, cute, or any other good adjective ever used to describe a man that attracts you), what really solidified my status as a Chunsa was his personality. There are so many things about him that I love that I could fill in pages after pages… Someone once asked me why he was my ideal type. This was my answer, as short as I could ever make it:
“Because of his sense of humour, because he’s a dork, because he does his own thing without caring what people will say, because he’s insanely talented & I admire people who’re like that, because he’s a genius & a perfectionist in his work and laid back in everything else, because he’s a good flirt, because he’s not afraid to show feelings, because he’d take care of anyone beside him, because he likes warm things and family & normal every day stuff, because he’s simple, because his bad habits are my bad habits, because he honestly seems like a caring lover, because he cries with sad movies, because he’s emotional, because he cherishes his friends and because of about 20 other stuff. Summary: because he’s my ideal type.”
At some point, feeling all this love by myself was not enough anymore. I decided to de-lurk and start talking to people who appeared to be as love-struck as I was. And thus I began making friends, sharing things with them that brought us closer. My love for Yoochun never faltered, in fact, it became even stronger each year that went by, because of all the good things he had brought into my life. With every new work, I admired him more and more and even cried out of happiness when he got awards. I will never forget him. I’m insanely proud of him and thankful for everything he has given me. I’m not the kind of fan who expects things from their idol. I just take whatever he has to give with eternal gratitude. I see his faults and like him even more because of them. He’s perfect in his imperfections.
I know I won’t be actively talking about him or searching for news every day, for my whole life. But I also know that I will never stop caring about him. If he makes a drama or a movie, I’ll watch it. If he sings, I’ll listen to him and buy his album. Whatever he does, I will always care. Because he’s my idol, Park Yoochun. The first famous person I ever adored so much, and the last.
There are so many things I could still say about him, I could probably write a novel. Nowadays I like other idols too because he and DBSK/JYJ eventually got me into kpop enough to realise there were certain good aspects of it. I love his bandmates, his ex-label mates and some others. But no one else makes me get so protective and defensive. If I had to choose, it’d always be him. My feelings cannot be measured, he comes first in everything.
To end this rambling, I would like to share a video. It makes me cry every time I watch it, as it expresses Chunsa feelings so well.
So I leave this here for all Chunsa who may have not seen it before. I assure you you’ll find a piece of yourselves in it. All the credit goes to its creators.
Written by: Lina
Photos/GIF/Video credits to owners